The Divine Nectar

I found out a about a film that I thought I'd share and ask...has anyone actually seen it? Is it as bad as the trailer makes it look?

The film is called The Divine Nectar: A Guide to Female Ejaculation.  This being a favorite topic of mine, I am extremely interested in it and rushed off to find the trailer. Well...this is what I saw:

Now maybe it's that I used to work in film (I've won awards for editing, writing and have even produced films that were show at major film festivals and even long listed for the Oscars) but I don't think that's it... I think this trailer hits on SOOOO MANY terrible visual buzzwords that my flake alert was buzzing off the hook.

Consider that this is one of my most favorite topics ever. I also practice and enjoy tantric sex --because damn, who doesn't enjoy cumming for 15+ minutes straight? And I am pretty familiar with shamanism too.   So wtf is it about this trailer that sets me off so much?

It looks sooo freakin' terrible that I want to watch it just for the train wreck factor.  Yet...maybe the editor for the trailer just sucked balls and it's descent?  (Generally, I would say that's not usually how projects work but then again, maybe they got a asshat of a trailer editor and the actual film is watchable.)

So, is this an informative film on female ejaculation and how to make girls squirt?  From the trailer, I would be shocked if it didn't focus on tantric practices...which could also be kinda cool. Does it focus on drinking it? What exactly does it cover? So I definitely wanna see it.

But my question is...will this be 2 hours I will never get back? Or will it provide insight or at least be a valuable learning video to which I can refer others.  I'll get back to you on that.

Here's another trailer for it...less censored and definitely not YouTube friendly because there's squirts and tits and stuff http://www.squirtshops.com/trailer_divine_nectar

And if you didn't know of the pirate bay, you can purchase a DVD (I know, you thought you go rent the vhs tape from the video rental store!) which is available here.

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Why it's awesome to have a sexpet

First off, the definition of a sexpet. A sexpet is a 24/7 sex slave who has signed a contract and collared by you. She's your property and responsibility.

Now it can be a lot of work to take proper care of a sexpet and making sure her mind is in the right headspace the whole time...while you plot out the various ways to torture and abuse her.

But this hard work is more than compensated by the rewards.



Why it's awesome to have a sexpet:

• I can fuck her the way I want and so I love it
• seeing the devotion in her eyes as I attach a leash to her collar
• knowing the she will follow the leash to the best of her ability
  
• I can punish her as hard as I like -- but it's more fun teaching her a lesson at the same time
• Because I know her so well...I know exactly where her limits are and can gently push them
• knowing that if she's distraught or confounded, I can just take fucking control and sort her shit out
• knowing that she'll be loyal to me know matter what situation I put her in: so it's my duty to defend her and keep her safe
• when you go out with a sexpet on your arm, the other girls notice and want some too
• having her give me presents, little gifts and snacks when she wasn't ordered because...well, every day is like Christmas with sexpet around
• because the longer you know her...the better you can mindfuck her
• because having live in eye candy dressed for sex is best art I could wish for in my home

Now these apply just to Ashlie (my sexpet) and not my others...are they are sex kittens but there's only one sexpet as she's earned the title <3

• because she's fucking hilarious
• she will find the hottest girls that suit my taste and just drool over them she's so distracted by their hottness
  
• because she a most careful listener who takes my orders and preferences to heart and remembers them better than I do
• because she has never, ever once refused sex or even acted anything but enthusiastic at the prospect of being fucked. 
• because she's so natural and comfortable during threesomes she just makes everything seem chill and fun
• because she's wonderfully brilliant. I have never, ever had anyone consider my sexpet dumb...or even possessing average intelligence. No, she's got a witty, rapid-fire brain that makes me want to eat it. (Don't worry, I will take the health risks into account and satiate myself by eating another part of you in place of your brain.) 

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The Female Prostate

Continuing my series on female ejaculation or squirting (search PC muscle or ejaculate on this site in the upper left search box), I thought I'd focus on the source of the wondrous event of squirting.

Now I personally believe that all woman can ejaculate...simply because 100% of the women I have been with for any length of time have squirted. I think it's simply a matter of practice and proper stimulation.  That said, I don't want any girls to feel stressed about it if they haven't squirted. If you can't orgasm, that's an entirely other matter...but not squirting..meh, give it time ;)

So let's take a closer look at the female prostate-- the source of squirting -- and let's start at the very beginning.  In the womb, during fetal development, all fetuses start off as females therefore all must have structures that can turn into either male or female sexual organs.  When the y-chromosomes kick in, one structure develops into a large prostate gland on males.  But if you're a girl...it develops into a structure that is actually a big group of individual glands and ducts that surround the urethra and also have a group of tiny passageways into the vagina.  These have also been labelled by some as paraurethral or Skene's glands.

These glands on both males and females produce prostatic fluid...and both males and female report significant pleasure resulting from stimulation of this gland --which causes both to release some prostatic fluid into the urethra.

The average size of the Skene's glands are 3.3cm long, 1.9 cm wide and 1 cm tall -- or for those wanting antiquated and obsolete imperial measurements...it's about the size of a small woman's thumb.

Note: this is not normally visible from the outside
 but she's pushing out so she's holding herself open
so the gland ridges are visible.

 Now it surrounds the urethra (the hole you pee out of) and is just beneath the surface of the skin and it also protrudes down into the top wall of the vagina. Hypotheses: some women have told me they feel like peeing when they are nearing orgasm...perhaps this is directly related to this gland completely surrounding the urethra?  If you insert your finger inside her vagina and curve it upwards you can easily feel the roughened bumps of the skin that is displaced by some of these glands.

Now what does the female prostate produce? It certainly doesn't produce all of the ejaculate found in female ejaculate.   But into the cum that she squirts out, these glands insert some PSA (prostate specific antigen), PAP (prostate acid phosphatase) and some fructose aka fruit sugars.  Yes...she makes herself sweet and fruity for you! And what else does the female prostate release? Serotonin! Directly into your bloodstream. You're welcome!

Now what could be the purpose of this PSA being released into the ejaculate? Medially, it's actually a fucking mystery. Damn doctors have their heads up their asses so I'll have to explain (just like I explained the reason for women ejaculating the first place) as this makes sense:  PSA is also found in semen and it's purpose is to dissolve vaginal mucus which can trap sperm.  Additionally, it causes the semen to get thinner so it can travel easily deep up into the vagina and beyond!!  Yup, same purpose as the males...because...well...same purpose. Remember, the point of sex is to get pregnant. (I know, I know, I keep forgetting that too!)

As for the PAP that is added to the ejaculate? I challenge you to find any mention of it that refers to healthy function in men...it seems the medical community is convinced this is a unhealthy sign of cancer in men -- and is ignoring the fact that women produce it too altogether.

What is in Female Ejaculate?
The truth is...it's a mix of heaven and shear bliss. Specifically, it has some PSA, PAP, urea and creatinine in it. Both urea and creatinine are found in urine but in considerable higher concentrations. Female ejaculate is much more dilute than urine and also contains PSA and PAP which are signature chemicals high concentrations in the ejaculate only.  Female ejaculate tends to be clear, slightly sweet, odorless and non-staining. It's a miracle fluid that should be sprayed everywhere.

Are you sure it's not urine?? YES!!  It has 600 times more PSA than urine, 8X more PAP, 4X more glucose, 50X more fructose, 8X LESS Creatinine, 1500X less urea, and 5X less salt. It's a completely different formula. We're not talking about small percentage differences here...keep in mind that a 1X difference equals 100%  ...so you could say it has 60 000% percent more PSA but I find that really hard to picture.

So, yes, the source of the liquid probably is the bladder initially...but it's basically taking the water out of it and creating ejaculate using the available water in the urine...while keeping most of the pee in a much more concentrated form.  However, it's also appears the glands are pulling liquid out of the bloodstream too...the whole process is not well understood at the moment --especially on how it can process so much fluid so quickly.  

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Double click your mouse

Yeah, it's made for double clicking! Dooo eeeet!

I heard an expression today and just loved it.  Apparently it's been around awhile but it's new to me.  It is "double click your mouse" as a slang for female masturbation.

I think that's so awesome! tee hee.   So much better than 'tiptoe through the twolips'.

There's so many phrases for guys doing it and girls need some good ones too. Especially as female masturbation and use of porn is becoming much more common.


Apparently 'double clicking your mouse' was mentioned in American Pie and Urban Dictionary.com has it listed from May 2003 so it's been around awhile.

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On Female Body Fluids

Let's  talk about female body fluids! Of course, I will discuss my favorite produced during female ejaculation..but there are many others as well.  Our society seems to have a great disdain for any female fluid and there is a definite amount of pressure on women not to do such things as sweating. Worse, menstruation is not supposed to exist and boys tend to freak out at just it's mention. In other societies, menstruating women were cast out of the community during this time or were blamed for crop failure, poor hunts or dying cattle. And personally, I don't see how that's going to help women embrace their wonderful fluids which are super sexy...literally. I mean, come on! Would you rather be with a self-lubricating babe or have to be constantly reaching for an expensive bottle of astroglide?

Women were once told not to do sports so they wouldn't sweat and be unattractive.  Then antiperspirants got in the game and took things up 10 notches with just plain mean advertising.  Before 1912 there just plain wasn't antiperspirant and people simply accepted the fact that we sweat. Why? Because people sweat!  Sweat serves a natural function to regulate body temperature and at the same time you release pheromones which attract the opposite sex. For women, it's like their most powerful way to advertise that they are ovulating and very fuckable.  So in stark contrast to the ads...sweat can make you way more popular with the boys.  Of course, sweaty men are seen as virile, right? Is it because they produce sperm and that fluid is a-ok!?  Well, the media seems to think sweaty men good...sweaty women bad.

Then tampons and 'sanitary napkins' got in the game with a whole slew of marketing campaigns
about being discreet and not being stinky!  The natural progression was the douche. And of course, women are stinkier and need much stronger stuff than men. So hell, why not use Lysol down there? That sounds like a really really good idea! You know what I wish my girls tasted like? Not pussy...that's gross! Give me a nice mouthful of Lysol any day! YUM!

In porn, men soak girls in their paltry amount of fluids all the time. Porn has basically standardized the facial...as well as cumming all over her tits, stomach, ass...you get the picture.  So why is it there isn't more porn with women giving facial? Seems way more awesome to me. Women make far more fluid so it's much more cinematic. But it took till 2008 to get female ejaculation off the banned porn list in England. Yes, a female squirting was up there with a girl fucking a horse. That's a massive stigma. No wonder women are concerned with producing 'too much lube." Of course, you can NEVER have too much lube. Ever. (That's the 1st rule of anal sex too ;)  )  So god forbid you squirt! That's even worse than too much.  ha ha.

Some women are so self-conscious about squirting that they feel stress about sex and prefer to avoid it rather than be 'incontinent' and unsexy in front of their beloved.  What if she has sweat sex while menstruating and ejaculates? Good lord...the man would leave her for sure! Either that...or he'd grow a pair, accept female fluids as a wonderful part of being with a woman and feel confident in the fact that if they weren't there...there probably was something really wrong with her.

So ladies, I'm giving your squirting, sweating and bleeding the thumbs up! Yay for you for being healthy.  And if you experience more intense squirting orgasms...fuck the risk of your partner having a 'bad reaction' and go for it. Hedonism babe...it's always the way to go.

Now the origins for the motivation behind this post? Researching female ejaculation and so much damn research seems focused on 'is it normal' and 'is it pee'.  Both of which seem deeply entrenched in the societal grip of female bodily fluids being taboo.  And it is time to grow up and embrace the realities of the world.

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I'm moving to Antarctica

I have decided that I should go do research in Antarctica as:

1) I really should visit every continent
2) have you seen the amount of smokin' hot female researchers there??

Seriously girls smart and adventurous enough to take a job doing research on the coldest place on earth are damn sexy just for that. But damn! Have you seen the shear number of hotties living there? From Fetlife alone the research facilities must be crawling with latex clad ladies!

Now I'm am a little concerned for their health as I've heard ninety-year-olds are way more susceptible to the cold: so why they flock to...well, Antarctica is a bit of a mystery to me. Still, they certainly seem to take care of themselves down there. I have a theory that extreme cold is incredibly good for the skin and is possibly the best way to keep wrinkles and excess body fat at bay. So I'm heading to Antarctica and research my theory.

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How to Sleep with Attractive People

Step one: Don't have getting attractive people in bed any sort of goal.

I know, I know, isn't that the goal here? It's a catch 22? But the problem is that your maneuvers are going to seem obvious to them...and repel them like bad body odour.  They will sense your 'hidden agenda' in every action and gesture.

Consider that very attractive people get approached all the damn time...so they likely have social experience which vastly exceeds your own.  And things that seem subtle to you are like a hammer to them.

Of course, if you're super hot too...they may go, well, that was obvious but I'll give it a whirl anyway. But most people don't have bodies like Brad Pitt and will have to resort to other strategies.

How about friendship? I know, you're gonna spaz about the 'friendzone' but
I'm really arguing for making a real and true connection with the person. Find something that you honestly love to share and talk about together. Make it so you genuinely get along and the conversation seems effortless. Yes, I do have a preference for bedding people I actually like....so maybe I'm asking too much...but I highly recommend it.

 And *after* you've developed a real connection, turn and face them and let them know that because of your appreciation of them as a real person...you're suddenly finding them attractive.

But it's no ultimatum. You're digging them so you can still be friends. But you could be more...y'know...I think it'd be fun ;)  But don't wait till you've know her 6 weeks and then suddenly go from 0 to 100 on her being super intense. That's a fail stratagem.

If they turn down your offer? No problem, you're friends with a great person. And this wonderful and attractive person can be the best wing-woman ever and likely has lots of hot friends that she can vouch for you with and set you up.

But the key thing here is you can often get lots of sex because you don't really care all that much about the sex thing and so you're relaxed and chill. Of course not wanting sex doesn't mean you shun the topic. Feel free to reveal that you are a sexual being...in fact this helps.  Just don't do it from the perspective of, "I've just revealed that I love dirty smelly feet to you and I'm expecting  you to reciprocate." Trust me, that ain't gonna work.  And dirty feet? Gross! lol.  Feel her out a bit first before you whip out the odd fetishes. See just how kinky your little minx is.  If she a prude...maybe you should friendzone her and poach her friends ;)

And don't confuse being attracted to someone's body with being attracted

to the person.  Lots of 'hot' girls are dumb. Or annoying and petty. I would much prefer a geeky girl with a ton of character to one of these.

Of course, there is the risk of being treated like a  doormat that does the bidding of the more attractive person and buys her stuff while she scopes the scene for a hot guy. Remember that the friendship thing has to be equal if you stand any chance with her. Re-evaluate the friendship if this starts happening and ditch it if need be.

Yeah, that's about all.  If you are the guy that's having the most fun with a person or in a group of people...girls will notice. And sleep with you. So it's about having fun and building connections....being free and spontaneous and waiting for that spontaneous moment when if feels right to kiss her.

Step two: Re-read step one and try in on some other attractive girl if it doesn't work the first time.

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Comic Book Corsets

I saw originally saw one of these at a show I was doing in Toronto about 2 years ago and it's stuck with me ever since: the comic book corset! God, my inner-geek got a total stiffy when I saw it! <3









Why are comic book corsets so sexy? Because geeky, nerdy girls are hot.  I've never been a big fan of
the kinda dumb lay. No, girls that game, speak geek, and drag you to Comicons are the shit. And is there anything better than a corset made with panels of comic books to say, "I'm damn hot...and cooler than you."

I'm dead serious. I see you in one of these and I'll leap over seated persons to talk to you.

Now there is a downside to corsets like the one above...they are not particularly waterproof. In fact, the girl I talked to that made it said, "Don't even think about getting it wet."

"So, watersports are out?"

Yeah.

They also go with anything and especially with cosplay options. 

Above is the original design that I saw...soooooo cool! *drools*  Though the cut of it leaves a lot to be desired -- I have very specific taste in corsets for hotness...yet I would most definitely make an exception for a corset that strokes my inner geek like a hydraulically-powered-fleshlight.

What guy would not lose it seeing a hottie wearing a corset covered in comic hotties?? Girls, don't underestimate the power. You too can head down to a comic convention in this and surround yourself with hundreds of men/boys who have no idea how to please you! ;)

The above is an easy one that any comic movie fan should be able to name everyone on it. If you want to separate the wheat from the chaff, perhaps choose something more like Witchblade? Then watch for the guy who is desperate to talk to you but can string more than 2 words together without stuttering.

What I want to know is...how do you make these? Are they crazy hard to make? Easy and they just look cool? I haven't the foggiest. But 2 thumbs way up for creativity! <3

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Don't Marry Her, Fuck Me.

This song was suggested to me by that same subbie that I wrote about in the post/review of the underbed restraint system.

The band is the Beautiful South and I just love the female vocalist.  The sub put this song on when I was about to go on a date with a girl that she thought of as kinda lame and was ever so vocal about it...but I gotta give her props for humour. It was my first time hearing the song and I almost pissed myself because her timing of throwing it on was spot on.

Oh, and I was able to sufficiently corrupt the lame one so that she was a lot more fun ;)

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How to Cook and Clean

A sign that BDSM is becoming more mainstream <3

And it's definitely the best way to cook and clean.

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Perfect Polly Pet

You can get a Perfect Polly Pet here at  www.perfectpollypet.com.  I was excited to get a clone of Ashlie but when no matter where I looked on the website it only mentioned nonsense about some stupid robotic bird.

Apparently perfection is in the eye of the beholder

I made me think of a website Ashlie directed me to on real dolls: they were supposed to be sexy perfect
companions dolls to dress up...but I couldn't escape the fact that the dolls were inexplicably creepy. I dunno, maybe I have an unnatural disposition towards real girls being my dolls but I've always found real girls vastly more interesting than Barbies. Real girls tend to have better proportions too: dolls should never be made in DD cup sizes on a tiny frame -- they look utterly ridiculous.

Ok, in truth they look horrifying.  This is due to the uncanny valley effect. The uncanny valley effect is the feelings of horror and shear terror at things at that are almost but not quite human. If something is 60% human -- say a statue of a manga girl that clearly isn't human but definitely humanoid...it's not really a problem.  But when you get things like robots that look remarkably like humans -- say 97% human  -- it's fucking horrifying.  Some part of us sees it a human that has had something horribly creepy and wrong happen to it.  And because of this, I find the whole real sex doll industry to be baffling -- but it goes to show that some guys* will fuck anything.

The first graph I saw was more scientific and labelled the bottom of
the valley as 'terror' on the y-axis. Instead of 'zombie' it read,
"robot with human skin" 

Of course, I'm not judging. If you like real dolls, that's cool. I am just saying that I have a excessively strong preference for human girls. And...these guys are driving the development of ever more realistic sex dolls -- which will one day get to over 99% human looking and suddenly they will take the world by storm and make it even more difficult for girls to get laid as they will be competing not only with internet porn but highly skilled sex robots. So my plan is...take full advantage of this and ignore any sex doll options in favor of real connections with girls.

*same class of guys that feel strong sexual to bowls of jello.

Of course, some real live human girls can achieve the effect too:

So what do you like more? The one above or below?

Personally, I prefer my own version of the perfect polly pet: Ashlie <3 <3 <3

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Gays, Russia and the Olympics

I know this post won't end up being about BDSM at all but it's about, sexuality and I wish to express my view on this.

There has been a lot of discussion in the media lately about the Olympic games being held in Russia and yet it recently passed some rather Draconian laws that target gay people and even people supporting the rights of gay people. I feel strongly about this issue but it needs to be addressed without moral righteousness.  There have been several actions proposed to deal with this but I don't like any of them.  So I am going to put for my solution that has historical roots.

Personally, I feel that if any person chooses to love any other person and everyone is consenting, this is a goodness and should be encouraged. It matters not in the slightest the form of the physical shape of these people.  People loving people is pretty much always good.   (Ok, being a stalker and forcing yourself and your love on someone else isn't  -- but loving them from afar is still cool. If they are truly being loved then their wishes and desires will also be respected.)   I find it hard to believe that the Russian Parliament is dead set against girls being with other girls and threesomes...so in my mind they really have not thought this through.  They are probably only against hair overweight men having sex with other hairy overweight men (and perhaps some, stretching this a bit again, are also against  cute fit boys having sex with other cute fit boys.)  But the way I see it, people should be free to love whom they want and it's wrong to attempt to suppress this.  But let's keep this in context: 20 years ago laws like this were common in North America and so were the accompanying attitudes. So...let's get off our moral high horse and try to encourage change without indignation.  And remember, the Olympics is a sporting event and not a platform for pursing political agendas and bullying other countries to conform to your own moral ethics.

The actions commonly being proposed to deal with the anti-gay laws in Russia are 1) boycott the games 2) move the Olympics to another country 3) have gay athletes protest at the games and see if they are arrested.   I like none of these options.

Boycotting the games does little to affect any laws or attitudes in Russia.  An athlete has trained for years for this competition and typically only has 1 or 2 chances in a lifetime to compete.  Removing this chance for them is completely unfair to the athletes.  Additionally, victories and gold medals are cheapened for any athletes that do not boycott the game.  So boycotting the game is the worst option for athletes and since this is ultimately about athletic competition -- it is not a viable solution.

Moving the games to another country is a complete logistical nightmare. It would be extremely expensive and be effectively throwing away any of the work already undertaken at great expense in Russia.   So from a practical perspective, I also hate this solution.

Having the gay athletes show up and potentially be arrested for defying Russian law is also insane and directly harms gay people by...throwing them in jail and at the mercy of the Russian penal system -- which I picture as merciful as a mousetrap is to a mouse.  If you are interested in protecting and helping gays...this won't do.

 So how do we overcome this problem?  I refer back to my personal historical roots in Denmark for the answer -- and the source of this is my grandparents so I'm not so sure how widely known it is.   You see, during world war 2 Germany conquered Denmark and decided to take up certain unpopular policies against the Danish Jews.   They ordered all of the Jews in the country to wear an armband with a star of David on it so that could easily be identified and persecuted.   The Danish solution?  Every person in the country put on an Jewish armband. And the Nazis were helpless.

So I propose we do the same thing with Olympic games.  Every athlete wears a rainbow uniform in a show of unity and solidarity with this fundamental right to love whom you want to love.   The rainbow is actually a symbol of diversity -- and represents straight people as well as gay, bi, trans etc...so it is perfect.  It doesn't need to change the location of the games nor put protesters at risk not involve a boycott ruining the experience for athletes. Rainbow uniforms can be worn quietly -- yet the message is far louder, clearer and more likely to promote real change in Russia than any other tactic.

So the solution is simple...wear rainbow uniforms at the Olympics -- and let's make the Olympics about the athletes again rather than being just about the country they are from.

--

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Why Women Squirt / Why Women Ejaculate

I started writing a post on the science behind girls squirting and as I went about researching, I couldn't help but notice that 1) scientists seem more than a little clueless on this matter and 2) I have a scientifically valid theory that explains squirting from an evolutionary perspective.

If you want to skip right to the the reason women ejaculate...scan down to the Underlined Heading below.

Now I have communicated with a top scientist on female ejaculation beginning in 2008 so when I say that scientists in this field are kinda clueless...I am speaking from actual experience.  lol.

Let's put this in perspective.  In the medical community it is well accepted that Renaldus Columbus discovered the clitoris in 1559.   Really. Good for him. I wonder if he asked his wife.

Later, the famous Masters and Johnson's study in 1966 said squirting is an urban legend...which is in start contrast with my entire sexual history as I've seen it far too many times to believe it's not a real phenomena and in enough circumstances that I am also utterly convinced it's not involuntary incontinence (as amusing as girls cumming so hard that they pee themselves is to me.)

Now considering this is something that happens all the fucking time (pun intended)... it seems utterly unbelievable that female ejaculation was not discovered and well documented before the year 2000. Then again, it did take them till 1559 to find the clitoris and that's pretty much out in the open on 50% of human and found frequently by 5 year old girls...so maybe they should get a round of applause for finding out about it so fast.

So by 2007 a team led by Florian Wimpissinger, an Austrian urologist at Rudolfstiftung Hospital in Vienna (The Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol 4, p 1388) managed to actually scientifically document some women squirting.  This is way after I personally observed numerous girls squirting but hey...a big round of applause to them. No one has noticed a wetspot on the bed ever after sex??? C'mon! They can't feel that, even in the dark? Seriously...it took till 2007. (Putting this more in perspective, we found QUARKS in 1968 through deep elastic scatter which is mindblowingly impressive to me-- so this is just 39 years after that.)

They also concluded that women can squirt up to maximum of 1/4 cup of ejaculate at time...to which I personally wrote the researches to say that I've personally measured 600ml in one massive gush so their numbers are way off.  Shockingly, I got the response that perhaps it was urine...to which I responded that no, she pee'd right afterwards and the volume of her pee was 1000ml so the girl in question would have to have a bladder larger than on record so...fuck no.

They seemed to doubt that I had actually measured it...somehow doubting the depth of my perversions.

So...I think I've made my point that the scientists studying this utterly useless. If they find my blog...fuck yourselves. Maybe you'll learn something.

My Theory of WHY women squirt 
Ok, first off, I have not seen this anywhere. I have shared it with several researchers but as far as I know it was completely and totally ignored.  But you heard it here first: my theory on why girls squirt. First, the evidence to set it up:

I apologize the presence of pubic hair on this
obviously dated diagram  

1) the location of the g-spot at the base of the vagina behind the pelvic bone
2) this spot would be shield from most objects/dicks entering it most frequently with 2 exceptions: a curled finger doing the cum hither motion...or ??
3) I have observed that as women ejaculate, the volume is effected by the pushing of the cervix towards the vaginal opening and women tend to squirt as the cervix reaches the vaginal opening.
4) The ejaculate is a slippery, lubricating substance.

 See how the head pushes right into the same spot?

This is consistent with....childbirth.  That's why women can squirt.  The head of the baby goes to the end of the vagina and hits the pelvic bone right where the g-spot is. It's a huge baby head and needs lubrication to get out and it pushed against the female prostate gland located at that location.  So a massive amount of lubrication is produced in order to get the head to clear the bones and leave the vagina during the birthing process.

When the woman bears down to push the baby out...it also encourages squirting to get more lube around the baby so that it can get out of the really small opening.

This is also consistent with reports of large volumes of clear liquid present during births as well as reports of 'orgasmic type feelings' by mothers during birth.
 
And that is the evolutionary reason why females ejaculate. Again, women squirt during orgasm because they are triggering the same mechanisms that is utilized to ease the birthing process.

You heard it here first.

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Use Me

Your balls are aching and you want to cum. I can see that

Use me.

Run your finger through my hair till you have a good grip, yank my head downwards, and fill my
throat with your cock. You don't have to say a word -- I know what I am for.

Throw me onto my back. Slap my thighs if I haven't spread them far enough apart. Take my tight  cunt with your cock. That's what it is here for. Make your cock wet enough with my juices so you can enter my ass next. I am just a sex toy, operating as designed.

Dig your nails into my back if I am not whimpering loud enough for you. Twist my nipples. Bite my neck.  If I am too loud now, slap my face as you wrap your strong hands around my throat and gag me with the palm of your hand.  I am your toy to be as loud or soft as pleases you.

Pull out and I instantly start rubbing my cunt because it pleases you. Lube your cock up and then work a lubed finger into my ass. I'd gladly take your fist and I push back to encourage you to force me open. This is my purpose. This is why this body is here. Pull your fingers out and quickly replace them with your cock.

I moan. I gasp. I tremble. And you fuck me like you hate me.

I start to collapse and you  force me to spread wider. You hand on my throat again with your breath on my ear as you bite my earlobe. "It doesn't matter if you cum." I know. My purpose to serve your cock and make it feel good. I clench my ass tighter for you. You can switch between any hole that pleases you as I am just your sex toy whose life's purpose is your release.

I know you love me. That you can be gentle, funny, playful and kind. But I love you because you are also a sick and twisted bastard who treats me like an object. My body glides over yours and your lips press into mine.

I know you love me. But I show you my love by always being available to make you cum.

So use me. Hard.

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Do You Take It In The Ass?

The Wet Spots!!!

Ok, I had a slave introduce the Wet Spots to me awhile ago and they are awesome. A+ Kinky music!!  And I bet you thought this post would be about female ejaculation and squirting. ha ha.

Not sure if they are still around, but if you get a chance to see a live show, do it! They are hilarious live and well worth it!  Their albums are also totally solid -- it ain't just this song.

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Mine

When I say that you are mine, I don't mean just while we are having sex.

I don't mean that you are mine when I am in the mood for it.

I don't mean that you are mine when you feel like it.

I mean you are fucking mine always, in all situations.

I mean mine when you are crampy and bloated.

I mean mine when you're exhausted.

I mean mine when you just want to hide and be an isolated hermit.

This is no "fair-weather mine"...when my basement floods in my house: it's still fucking mine.



When you feel all alone in the world....you are mine.

When you feel sick and snot is running down your face...you are mine.

Just like when you need help fixing something around the house, you are mine.

When I feel purely sadistic, you a most definitely mine.

When you think about not caring for your body, remember that you are mine.

You are mine to do anything I please with.  Everything you feel is for me because you are mine.

Your heart too is mine.  You can't decide whom to love because you are mine: I do that for you.

When you need to visit the doctor or dentist, I will book the appointment because you are mine.

Mine. I don't say it just to make you cum. I say it to reinforce your position in the world and how I see you.

Mine. That is how you will always see yourself.

Mine. Through everything, you will be mine.
_________________________________________________________________
-this post is dedicated to Ashlie and Kari

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Hitachi Bondage

This is a visual post dedicated to Ashlie.  It is guaranteed to horrify her.

It's based on the Hitachi Magic Wand.  If you don't know it, read my post about the Hitachi as well as this post about Hitachi attachments.

Then consider the follow form of extreme bondage:

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Why you should hire kinky people

In strict contrast to vanilla types in the workforce, kinky people consider sexual harassment to be a benefit of employment. In fact they get a bit grumpy if they go too long without being harassed and yet work better and more efficiently with just a little ass smacking.  (You can even consider a private contract that allows for and invites such behaviors ..just to protect each party from the BS of the vanilla law system.) 

Kinky folks maintain a sense of humor and tend not to take things too seriously. Often these things are not funny to any sane, rational, normal person, but your kinky staff will giggle and snicker nonetheless. 

Kinky folks know what REAL sexual harassment is and the will boldly stand up to it and call "red" because there is no point in not having fun and rather than panic and cry -- they know they have certain rights and you have to respect their wishes as an individual.  

One of the best reasons for hiring kinky people is: you can not only threaten to hit them -- you can actually hit them! Even better: they won't sue your ass and they will even enjoy it.

Of course, a lot of kinky people are really creative and smart.  They spend a lot of time and energy inventing new toys with which to be kinky and then masturbating, fucking and using said toys (which I will grant you, greatly decreases their profitability as employees.) However, if you can harness this creativity (think pony play): they can be valuable, highly productive workers.

Kinky people have a deeper understanding of emotional and mental states. They will express this understanding by pegging exactly where you are in your menstrual cycle based on what abnormal psychiatric behaviors you are exhibiting and do things like check in with you to see how you are doing throughout the scene (aka work.)

Kinky people live in a culture that values open, honest, communication. They will give serious consideration to your words and will weigh your feedback that they are being a shit and make efforts to change these behaviors. However, they will also not hesitate to tell you when you are being an asshat. Communication runs both ways.

Kinky people understand the difference between public and private behavior and they usually have strong taboo on 'outing'. This means that you can often develop actual friendships with them outside of work and trust that they will not use personal knowledge against you at work nor will they flash their boobs to an important client just to show off their nipple clamps. 

For Kinky folks, putting time and effort into a really good prank is a sign of affection. As sadists and masochists, fucking with someone is what they do to people they love. A good way to know a kinky person hates you is they just ignore you. When you come in to find your office door blocked by an avalanche of popcorn as you open the door -- meaning you have to spend 10 minutes cleaning up before you can work (this actually happened...but the author officially denies all responsibility for said, "Popcorning" but does point out the possible cause being the 5 minute tirade inflicted previously by the 'victim' on the horrors and negative health effects of popcorn.)  Regardless...if they are messing with you...it's a good way to know that they really love you.

When you're really frustrated because it's been a week since you last got freaky in your special way, you can actually tell them...in detail...repeatedly...and they will sympathize. They may even be a little turned on while they laugh at you. 

And finally, you should hire kinky people because casual Fridays! Instead of suffering through co-workers wearing ill fitting jeans, imagine a workplace where your co-worker looks like this:

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Top 20 Orgasm Types

1. The Optimist - Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes...

2. The Pessimist - Oh no, oh no, oh no...

3. The Flip Flopper- Oh yes, oh no, oh yes, oh no...

4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming...

5. The Religious - Oh God, oh God...

6. The Greedy -  more, more, more...

7. The Evangelist - Yes Jesus Jesus Jeeesus!

8. The Submariner - Mmm... OHHH... Deeper... Deeper... GO DEEPER!

9. The Sailor - Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck...

10. The Racer - Faster oh yes faster faster FASTER!!!

11. The Dingleberry - Oh shit oh shit oh SHIT oh SHIIIIIIIIIT!

12. The Oil Rigger - It's a gusher!

13.  The Beatle - I love you yeah yeah YEAH!

14.  The Traffic Director - don't stop don't Stop Don't Stop!!

15.  The Dental Patient - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

16.  The Ninja - 

17.  The Eager Student - Oh oh oh oh oh!

18.  The Austin Powers - Yeeaah Baby!

19.  The John McClane -  Harder harder harder!

20.  The Kool-Aid Man - Ohhhhh Yeaah! 

Note: I saw a list online of the top 9...I expanded it and removed some of the crappy ones on the list. 

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Why Geeky Doms Rock

1. INTELLIGENCE. Give me a smart Dom any day over Dom Jock Macho Man. The smart guy knows He doesn't know it all and spends an inordinate amount of time continually learning to be a better Master.

2. PATIENCE. They're methodical. They're used to solving complex problems. They even welcome such challenges and they know that there are subs out there that are complex and challenging as hell. These subs do not intimidate a geeky Dom.

3. APPRECIATION OF A SMART SUB. A geeky Dom loves a sub with a brain, they know You can't fix stupid. She may not be the prettiest or have the most beautiful body around but they don't care... They LOVE smart! Smart trumps physical beauty any day. They aren't intimidated by such a sub and in fact welcome her wit and insight and love her mind. A sub with brains loves this right back... so many Doms can't handle her intelligence.

4. THEY LOVE A PUZZLE. Lord knows that a smart sub can present a puzzle to most Doms. Not so the geeky Dom, He is inquisitive and loves to solve a puzzle, (it's His nature) especially the puzzle of an intelligent and independent woman who craves to submit to the right Man. He will take his time and use his laser like mind to delve deep into her psyche, figure her out and put all the pieces together and claim her as His before she realizes what hit her (pun not intended).  And he's usually smart enough to figure out a solution that you might not expect.

5. MASTERS OF THE MIND FUCK. See #'s 3 & 4. Intelligent subs can be quite a handful. They often outsmart their wannabe Doms seeing right through them and quickly getting bored and frustrated (insert eye rolling subbie here). Ah, but the geeky Dom can see right to the core of this subbie, knows what makes her tick and can wrap his mind around her essence and whip her little brain into a chaotic frenzy and drop her to her knees before she knows what's happening and she'll never see it coming. Trust me, weappreciate this ability... we crave this ability... we need this ability...

A good geeky Dom knows that 95% of his powers should be devoted towards winning your mind. So he uses his intelligence to ensnare completely using tools from hypnosis and  NLP to ever so subtle things that he's noticed that makes you tick.  

6. QUIET TIMES, NATURE WALKS AND PLAYING GAMES. A geeky Dom doesn't have to be all "macho" all the time. They are confident enough in their dominance to let go and be content to hold Their sub in Their arms, spending time on long walks or sitting on the back deck on a spring afternoon, listening to the birds chirping, watching the squirrels and deer romping about and just enjoying "being". Or playing games as he loves to keep his mind active. The bonding achieved doing this is incalculable. His sub is putty in His hands.

7. ACTUALLY USEFUL. Of course, a side benefit of the Dom being highly intelligent is...he can actually do stuff. Useful stuff. In a wide variety of ways. Maybe he can wire a 3-way switch for hallway lighting, create a website, use laser cutters to create new items or take apart and fix a motor. And he's usually smart enough to have the resources to actually accomplish these tasks too -- as he probably figured out a way to earn more than minimum wage ;)

8. BETTER LOVERS. Oh yes! Lord Domly Dom thinks He's a great lover because he has a cock Ha!. Not so the geeky Dom. He's studied a woman's anatomy and physiology, he knows the rhyme and reason behind her sexuality and uses it to his advantage thus making him a most exquisite lover. And when he has claimed His sub, he has studied her as a person even further and knows intimately what makes her tick, what drives her wild, what brings her to her knees begging for more.

Yes, give me a Geeky Dom any day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eJmYKN_1QE

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU

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