Rant: Why I hate breast implants

Not Hot

I'm not gonna lie to you: I think breast implants are disgusting and they make me fucking crazy!  I have a strong preference for very thin girls and you know what boobs FIT on a tiny little frame? Tiny boobs!  If you get breast implants you throw off the natural balance you had and go all lop-sided and wrong.

It completely offends my sense of aesthetics. Smalls girls should have small boobs and that makes
them SOOOO MUCH HOTTER!

You know who should have big boobs? Big girls!!! A big the advantage that big girls have and I don't think smaller girls should ever consider taking that away from them while simultaneously making themselves into freaks.

Adorable to horrible

girl with tiny little boobs also looks pretty awful to me --because it's out of balance.  Here's a real shocker: most guys LOVE big boobs.  And this is

Breast implants also suck because you need to get new ones every 10 years! Think about that before you shell out $10000 for new boobs. If you're 19...that means $10 000 when you're 29...39, 49, 59...and eventually you won't care and then what the fuck happens? Talk about high maintenance!

But wait, how do you know you need need boobs? Because they pop! Or they shift into the wrong spot. Just picture what that actually looks like.

Now picture a nice little a-cup at age 39. Is it sagging? Hell no! Still perky as ever? Hell yes! So for the long term...small boobs...goddamn...soooo much better!

Before is so much better. 

And what about the health risks?  First off, there are significant risks attached to any surgery.  Then post-op there is a chance of infection. After that there is scarring, chronic pain and you also have the risk that it fucks up the way your tits because it didn't turn out right. It's also common to damage the nerves to your nipple meaning you can't feel a damn thing in a highly erogenous zone! Don't take nipple clamps away from my torture toolbox!! Oh, and there's also the risk of your breasts hardening. That what I look for...hard tits. :-/

But even if it all seemingly goes well: you have decreased immune system response and worse, higher risk of breast cancer (and the implant makes it much more difficult to spot with a mammogram meaning your survival rate drops from 93% with early detections down to 15% with late detection.)  Overall, your risk of death from breast cancer goes up by 40%.     After that, risks from silicone entering your bloodstream when it pops...not pretty. 

Complications Of Breast Surgery And Silicone And Saline Breast Implants include:

• infection (bacteria and mold which can be released from the implant into the body)
• surgical risks
• anesthesia risks
• chronic breast pain,
• breast or nipple numbness
• capsular contracture
• scar tissue
• hardened and misshapen breasts
• breakage and leakage
• necrosis (skin death)
• need for additional surgery to deal with problems
• dissatisfaction with how the breast looks
• disfigurement
• arthritis and joint pain
• fatigue
• memory loss
• cognitive impairment: poor concentration
• metal poisoning due to platinum exposure (in silicone implants)
• silicone migration into lymph nodes and other organs
• debilitating autoimmune disease such as fibromyalgia, dermatomyositis, polymyositis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, mixed connective-tissue disease, pulmonary fibrosis, eosinophilic fasciitis, and polymyalgia.
• Your tits will be bigger!!! Yuck.
• And last but not least, death

She probably had great little tits to match her frame once. :'(

So in short: Don't fucking get them. Small breast are better -- and big ones are awful.