Why you should hire kinky people

In strict contrast to vanilla types in the workforce, kinky people consider sexual harassment to be a benefit of employment. In fact they get a bit grumpy if they go too long without being harassed and yet work better and more efficiently with just a little ass smacking.  (You can even consider a private contract that allows for and invites such behaviors ..just to protect each party from the BS of the vanilla law system.) 

Kinky folks maintain a sense of humor and tend not to take things too seriously. Often these things are not funny to any sane, rational, normal person, but your kinky staff will giggle and snicker nonetheless. 

Kinky folks know what REAL sexual harassment is and the will boldly stand up to it and call "red" because there is no point in not having fun and rather than panic and cry -- they know they have certain rights and you have to respect their wishes as an individual.  

One of the best reasons for hiring kinky people is: you can not only threaten to hit them -- you can actually hit them! Even better: they won't sue your ass and they will even enjoy it.

Of course, a lot of kinky people are really creative and smart.  They spend a lot of time and energy inventing new toys with which to be kinky and then masturbating, fucking and using said toys (which I will grant you, greatly decreases their profitability as employees.) However, if you can harness this creativity (think pony play): they can be valuable, highly productive workers.

Kinky people have a deeper understanding of emotional and mental states. They will express this understanding by pegging exactly where you are in your menstrual cycle based on what abnormal psychiatric behaviors you are exhibiting and do things like check in with you to see how you are doing throughout the scene (aka work.)

Kinky people live in a culture that values open, honest, communication. They will give serious consideration to your words and will weigh your feedback that they are being a shit and make efforts to change these behaviors. However, they will also not hesitate to tell you when you are being an asshat. Communication runs both ways.

Kinky people understand the difference between public and private behavior and they usually have strong taboo on 'outing'. This means that you can often develop actual friendships with them outside of work and trust that they will not use personal knowledge against you at work nor will they flash their boobs to an important client just to show off their nipple clamps. 

For Kinky folks, putting time and effort into a really good prank is a sign of affection. As sadists and masochists, fucking with someone is what they do to people they love. A good way to know a kinky person hates you is they just ignore you. When you come in to find your office door blocked by an avalanche of popcorn as you open the door -- meaning you have to spend 10 minutes cleaning up before you can work (this actually happened...but the author officially denies all responsibility for said, "Popcorning" but does point out the possible cause being the 5 minute tirade inflicted previously by the 'victim' on the horrors and negative health effects of popcorn.)  Regardless...if they are messing with you...it's a good way to know that they really love you.

When you're really frustrated because it's been a week since you last got freaky in your special way, you can actually tell them...in detail...repeatedly...and they will sympathize. They may even be a little turned on while they laugh at you. 

And finally, you should hire kinky people because casual Fridays! Instead of suffering through co-workers wearing ill fitting jeans, imagine a workplace where your co-worker looks like this: