Threesomes

I started writing another post and realized I should probably do a "how to"post on 3-somes. I love threesomes and they are a great way to really enjoy oneself.  Threesomes are something that just seem to come naturally to me -- but it certainly helps to have the right participants.   From there, don't try to force things -- and 95% of it in your mind. I'll also give some tips on how to have a good threesome.  But I'm gonna keep this from a vanilla point of view. BDSM threesomes with butt plugs, whips and forced squirting into each other's mouths...that's a whole other topic.

I really enjoy having threesomes. To me, three is the perfect number of people to have sex. With 3

people you have 3 different sets of energy and emotions involved and the intermingling keeps things different, evolving, exciting and fun!  Three people is superior to four because with four people, it tends to break off into 2 couples...where 3 you are all working together.  From a hedonistic point of view, it's just better to have 3 people as it allows for one person to be the focus of 2 others.  I love to see a girl really and truly happy and my doing all I can to please her is good -- but if I can have another equally skilled person also focusing on her....well damn...she's in heaven.   There's nothing more satisfying than seeing a lover truly pleased.

I'm also speaking from considerable experience here: I've had close to the same number of 3-somes as I have had 2-person sex. I also want to say here that I just plain have a tendency to attract girls that are bi. Not really sure why. I dated girls that pretty much date girls exclusively and I've been told that I know how to flirt like a girl when need be. (These kind of girls don't respond so well to the cave man approach of just grabbing them but take a far more subtle tact.) I've dated girls that have ended up marrying girls.  But being with bi people definitely helps the interest level in having threesomes.  Don't try and force it on anyone: look for the girls that are wanting to get laid.

That bears repeating: Look for the girl who is trying to get laid. It is so much easier to sleep with someone who is horny and looking than it is to convince a jaded individual who is hating guys at the moment.   And the best: form a real bond and emotional connection with the girl. And fuck her because it feels right.

Ok, but how do you get two girls together at the same time? I'm not gonna lie to you: being awesome helps.  But also don't build it  up in your head as some sort of holy grail. It's not some unattainable fantasy...it's something that's fun and the girls will want to do because it is fun.  (I definitely don't have this...I've made out with 5 girls at the same time and the only self-conscious thought I had was along the lines of, "Omg, fuck yeah, I AM awesome and I LOVE me!!" -- just giving you a sample of my inner dialogue at that time...but for 2 girls, it's more like, "Her neck looks good. I'm gonna bite it. Mmmm that feels good: I wonder whose hand that is?")

Now I say girls, but I've had plenty of 3-somes with 2 guys and a girl.  Girls love that - just as much as guys like the idea of 2 girls at once.  This can also help get a particularly hot girl into bed. ;)   Do also enjoy the dynamic of confusing the fuck out of the girl. Both guys flirt shamelessly with her and she's trying to figure out whom she's going home with. I can think of one time where my friend and I were at my place with a certain girl with long straight black hair.  I went up to the bathroom and as I was coming back, I heard my friend kissing her.  As I came down the stairs, she broke off with him and headed up to the bathroom -- and I grabbed her on the stairs and kissed her. Now she'd just been kissed by 2 guys in under a minute and had no idea that we both had both decided to sleep with her already. So she was all what-the-fuck-I-kissed-them-and-what-am-I-gonna-do-now??? Her panic was really cute as she was obviously conflicted and didn't know who to choose. Lucky for her: we didn't require any decisions.

Being with another guy I find so stress free.  There's no performance anxiety at as you've got a buddy to help out and help satisfy her.  And the amount of resistance from the girl goes way down when she realizes she can have her cake and eat it too.

 Some friends  have told me they that, though they like the fantasy, they would feel a huge amount of stress and pressure from actually sleeping with 2 girls at the same time.   This is another reason to sleep with bi girls that actually like each other.   Now I can't stress that enough: the girls have to like each other (not just physically but emotionally).   If they don't -- why would you want to get them in close quarters together?? (It won't work out well even IF you could get them together -- lol, but you won't.)   But if you're trying to arrange a threesome just to satisfy your ego of 'having had 2 girls at once' -- it's probably gonna fail. That's the kind of situation that if a guy forces his gf to do it...she'll resent it and you're just paving the way to breakup city. So please, check in with the girls -- and even if she says 'yes, I would'  that doesn't mean per-arrange it and force it to happen. She might not feel like it on the day.  It's pretty much gotta be a spontaneous thing if it'll be any good.

I'll give an example: I had a date arranged with one girl who had an awesome place with a hot tub.  She
cancelled but said I could use the place anyway and come by for a soak.  Since it was a loaded house, I called a couple girls in the hopes that one of them would be free. Crap. This article is on threesomes so that story doesn't work (it turned out the girl with the house un-cancelled too.)

Take 2:  I had a date with one girl who was going to come into town to visit me. The day she was coming down, another girl sends me a message that she would be coming to see me that evening too.  Now luckily, I'm one open motherfucker who tells girls that there are other girl in my life or else I'd be screwed by circumstances like this far too often.  I explained to both that the other would be there and sorry about the double booking.  (Jeez, just thought of it, this has happened to me before too) Well, we met and all hung out together and there was an obvious to me that there was a chemistry between the 3 of us. So we continued to hang out and then I started kissing them. Why? Because it felt right.  But up until that point, it hadn't even crossed my mind to go for sleeping with them both as they had never met one another.

I also want to say that pre-planning is a great way to having things fail. I have also been on the receiving end of this one so I'll try to explain it from this perspective.  You show up and both of them are really oddly nice and yet nervous and often exchanging glances They kept trying to do stuff to maneuver things a certain way and the whole thing just made me feel like prey who had walked into a trap. And what does that make me want to do? Escape. Also, even though I was experiencing a distinctly unsexy vibe, both of them seem not to care what I was feeling. And so I bolted.  With two on one, it's easy for one person to feel ganged up upon. So don't fucking do that.  Go to efforts to make her feel comfortable and if you plan anything -- plan how to have fun! Don't plan the sex -- if it's gonna happen, it'll happen. If not, well at least you had fun.

What I am saying is, the vibe is the most important thing. The more relaxed and chill you are, the better. If you are super nervous or thinking about how much you want this and have been dreaming about this since you were 13... well, she is super sensitive to such things and will bail. If she doesn't bail...the reason is: you've done a good job developing a relationship and an emotional connection with her.   Keep in mind this applies to both other people so you have to be somewhat socially skilled to manage this situation correctly.

But the key x-factor aspect is: the girls have to like each other AND you.  Keep in mind that I am happiest when if the girls like each other so much that they fool around even without me in the picture.  Some guys feel threaten by this  -- especially if it's a long term gf who is suddenly wanting to spend time alone with a new lover.  One girl I know was wanting to have 3-somes so she could have sex with girls as that was a real need she had. When she tried to make this happen, her bf had a jealous fit.  Especially when the second time it happened. So if you're prone to be threatened by this...maybe this is not for you.

Ok,  let's talk about porn a minute. A consistent complaint of mine is: the girls in porn don't seem to
actually be into each other. This is a huge problem for me. Girls just being with each other physically is dull, crappy and uninspired. What's hot is girls who actually lust for each other. One site I like is www.alsscan.com because the girls seem to actually dig each other (at least in some of the videos.)  But what about a threeway with 2 guys and girl? Well, I guarantee you that unless it's a specialized site/video, the guys never so much as touch each other.  This seems entirely fucked to me. If you can be in the same room having sex then you should be able to handle touching each other. Guys need not bang each other's asses but seriously, you're not gonna die if you touch each other. (Oddly, in porn, cocks can touch in a pussy...but that's the only place where males seem to touch. ha ha.)

Now girls have expressed to me that they are actually turned off by seeing guys look so awkward and nervous about touching each other.  One said that it made them look like boys who were supremely unconfident in their own sexuality.  It's a threesome, for fuck sakes. The whole point of the endeavor is physical touching. So straight boys: accept the fact that you are gonna touch. And touching doesn't make you gay: it makes you better able to pleasure the girl.

Of course, boys can do more with each other too. And some girls *really really* like this. The way I see it: humans loving other humans is always a good thing.  If you're in a 3-some with another guy and he makes a move on you, there are two options: a) enjoy it    or   b) politely reject the advance and say you are more into her.  If you're not wanting to do anything with the guy, you can always say something about it beforehand -- though I did this with a good friend and he told me a couple years later that he was kinda offended, not that he wanted to do anything but that I shot him down with out him even making an form of advance! ha ha.  But with that said, we did do stuff like grab on to a shoulder for leverage and we definitely touched while changing positions and such...and the girl...was glowing for the next couple days and I overheard her bragging to a friend of hers on the phone.

So yeah, there are a lot of configurations: mfm (girl sandwich, boy bread), fmf (boy sandwich, girl bread), fff (I've never had any success being apart of one of these), mmm (aka the sausagefest), ffm (girls definitely into each other), mmf (boys definitely into each other), mtf (hmmm, you include trans people and they take it as something else entirely!)   As long as everyone is ready, willing and able, it's all good.

Anyway this goes, the main purpose is to relax and have fun.  Sex is play. If it doesn't seem like play... you haven't been focusing on the moment and going with the flow. No matter whom you are with, be alert to both the other people. Moods change. If a person feels ignored they will withdrawn emotionally first then physically...so check in with both people frequently. And smile a lot! If people are smiling frequently. . . it's up to you be the relaxed fun one to put them at ease.

Hmmm... I'm kinda done writing for the day. I'll post tomorrow about some practical tips for 3-somes.